The Worst Thing in the World ...and it feels just like I'm walking on broken glass

Take the factors of your age and think about when you were the same age as the factors.

Larger factors merit more attention (otherwise you'll spend every other year thinking a lot about being two years old - I only have one memory from two. It's a cool memory, but not worth deconstructing every other year)

Prime number factors merit the most attention.

If you are currently a prime number years old, I guess that's rad.