It seems to me that if you have a burrito and you really want to eat it in the park, it's probably best to not sit on the bench immediately next to the dog area. Look, I can get my dog to "leave" just about ANYTHING, but Marlo's sharper than most. The recall command, especially in the face of a carnitas fueled binge, is REALLY tough to execute for the average mutt. (Dude, if you turn your back long enough I might steal the burrito... though it has been speculated that I have less self-control than the dog most days.) Given this, looking at me and the other dog owners with a scowl and muttering under your breath will not make it better. You're the idiot. Not the dogs. Not their owners. You.

As a corollary, if you are homeless and have a half-eaten burrito that you'd like to save for later, that's completely understandable, and economically rational... but it would similarly serve you well to avoid passing out in the middle of the off leash area, leaving the burrito lying next to you. And for the record, the dog understands your jibberish less than I do, so screaming at him is probably not worth the trouble. Taking a swing at him is entirely unacceptable. Just saying.

*For the record, Marlo has asked that I clarify that he did NOT eat anyone's burrito (it was another dog that will remain nameless). He certainly thought about it though, and asks you respectfully not to tempt him with your mexican food (or sandwiches for that matter). If all you got to eat most days was kibble (and the occasional bits), you'd be hard-pressed not to steal burritos too.